The right match: Roommate compatibility testing

If you’re sharing a space with someone else, unless you’re both on completely different schedules, they’re going to become a pretty big part of your life. Girlfriends and boyfriends come and go, but especially in a big city, roommates can be with each other for years – even decades if the lease is good enough. If you’ve been “set up” by friends, it’s easy to find out about the other person’s habits and foibles before you let them sign the lease. But how can you ensure that cool-seeming stranger who answered your ad won’t become your new worst enemy once the lease is signed?

I just happen to be a professional matchmaker, and the similarities that run between a love match and a roomie match are astounding, so I’m going to offer my professional matchmaking advice on finding that perfect roommate. These five topics can guide your roommate compatibility testing – and are ideal to cover before you go making any year-long commitments.

1. Are you a lark, or an owl?

If you’ve barely hit the sack at 3 a.m. after a Walking Dead marathon and your roomie rises at 4:45 a.m. for an early morning run, it’s never going to work unless you’ve got an extremely soundproof kitchen and bathroom. Better to find someone who keeps similar hours.

2. How do you play the social game?

How’s your social life? A single introvert may not pair up very well with somebody who hosts a party every month and has friends “drop by” at random. Make sure you ask before the first spontaneous after-work session occurs in your living room.

3. Where are your boundaries?

Can I borrow your boots? Do you mind if I use some of this soy sauce? Some people are extremely comfortable with sharing not only a space, but also the items within it. I once had a roommate who – after I’d told her she could wear a particular skirt – took to dressing herself daily from my wardrobe, never bothering to ask permission. Boundaries around everything from the food in the kitchen to the contents of your closet need to be clearly delineated.

4. Who’s a bathroom hog?

How much longer will you be in there? When two people share a lone bathroom, shower length, makeup application time and the duration of your depilation sessions all become a matter of some urgency. Talk to your potential cohabitant about their personal habits, especially if you both leave for work around the same time.

5. Housekeeping expectations?

When was the last time you cleaned your bathtub? If your answer is “this morning, right after my shower,” and your prospective roommate responds incredulously, “you clean your bathtub?” it’s not a match. Be upfront about housekeeping standards, or one of you might end up feeling like the other one’s mom.